Larry Fine was one of the founders of the Gay Liberation Front at
the University of Rochester. Larry now lives in Boston. Shoulders to Stand On interviewed Larry for over two hours about the early days of the Gay Liberation Front at the University of Rochester.
Larry gave us an April 22, 1971 University of Rochester Journal which included an article Larry had written titled "Feeling Gay." Excerpts from that article appear below.
Feeling gay is feeling lonely…
When I was around eleven or twelve, I first became aware that my sexual feelings were not the same as those that my friends talked about. It was about that time that parents started actively encouraging all the little boys to be interested in all the little girls, and I, to my horror and dismay, was only interested in all the beautiful little boys. Naturally I didn’t dare tell anyone that my feelings weren’t gradually I dropped out of the social circle by hurts into music a period nd schoolwork and excellent it both remained very lonely the required ones, and I started to feel pretty uptight about it all. For a while I tried faking conversations, talking about girls, but felt quite doing that. I even went to quite a few boy-girl parties and hosted a few myself, but my motivation for such activities were waned after a while. I never was much of a faker. Gradually I dropped out of the social circle I had been in and mostly kept to myself. I put all my efforts into music and schoolwork and excellent at both, but remained very lonely.
It’s amazing how much trouble can be caused by bad feelings about one aspect of a person’s personality, his sexuality. What I felt seemed different from what others felt because nobody ever spoke of a homosexual feelings except, occasionally, in a derogatory way. (Oh, all those faggot jokes I’ve had to sit through with my mouth shut!) This made me feel that there was something wrong with me, and, combined with the feeling of alienation from my friends and the loneliness of not being able to talk to anyone about it, my life was really messed up.
To my surprise, I fell in love with a girl when I was 16. I thought that my salvation had come! But when that episode ended a year or so later, I realized that my sexual feelings for guys were still there as strong as ever. During my last year in high school and my first two years in college, I dated girls occasionally, but totally without enthusiasm. The loneliness, the frustration at being unable to share my thoughts completely with someone, was extremely painful. How I managed to endure ten years of it is beyond me.
Last year, on the last day of Passover, I met, for the first time, a person who is openly gay. Somehow he communicated to me a self-respect and an enthusiasm for life which I had never before experienced. As I look back on it, I realize how suddenly, in the space of a few hours, the entire course of my life changed. As the sun set on that Jewish holiday of freedom, I set down a 10 year burden and was set free.”
During this New Year 2008, may we all be more free to be who we are where we are for history tells us it is possible.