by Evelyn Bailey
I met Tony Mascioli for the first time at the Gay Alliance building on Atlantic Avenue in the ‘90s. As I got to know Tony, I realized Tony’s life was one of Rochester’s gay success stories.
Tony was born in Rochester, New York on December 14, 1930. By 1930, the population of Rochester had swelled to 328,132, making Rochester the 22nd largest city in the United States. The University of Rochester opened its River Campus for men, and the Prince Street Campus became the Women’s Campus.
The Rochester Municipal Airport opened on Scottsville Road. It was in the 1930s that Eastman Kodak introduced Kodachrome® film. In 1936, the Rundel Memorial Building opened as the headquarters of the Rochester Public Library. Tony grew up around North Street. He went to Catholic schools. He knew he was gay as a young man.
Tony did not remember being harassed as a student, but did remember he was kind of a loner. When he came out to his family, his father was not very supportive. He left Rochester at 19 for New York City where he lived in a rooming house in for $7 a week rent. He did not make it in New York and returned to Rochester.
Tony decided to enter the army at the time of the Korean Conflict. Tony recounted the story of his father telling him to tell the recruiters how bad his feet were, that he had to wear special shoes, etc., so that the Army would not accept his application. His application to enter the army was rejected because of his flat feet. During this time he attended SUNY Brockport where he was involved in acting, and writing.
He returned to New York and attended Columbia University majoring in English Literature. In 1974 he went into partnership with his cousin and opened the Wall Street Spa and Sauna. Soon after, Tony also opened the East Side Sauna, and a guest house on Long Island.
In October, 2011 I asked Tony for a rather large donation to the Shoulders To Stand On 90 minute Documentary on the LGBT History of Rochester. I explained that the documentary has been in the making for over 40 years, and that since 2003, the Gay Alliance has been focused on documenting and preserving Rochester’s LGBT history.
He responded by saying he was more comfortable with a Matching Donation rather than just an outright donation. Tony’s challenge was to raise $10,000 between December 2, 2011 and January 15, 2012. You need to understand that Tony was a very sharp businessman. His challenge energized the Shoulders To Stand On Committee to begin in a focused way to energize the community to raise the money.
Tony knew the impetus of meeting his challenge would cause us to reach out to the community strategically, and to develop a long range plan for raising the money to complete the project. He was right! On Thursday, October 10, 2013, almost two years to the day of Tony’s challenge, Out & Equal in partnership with Constellation Brands raised $3,200 for Shoulders To Stand On to bring our total fundraising efforts, kickstarted by Tony, to just over $100,000.
Tony’s faith in us, myself and Kevin Indovino, Director/Editor of Shoulders To Stand On, to complete the documentary for its World Premier at ImageOut 2013, was well placed. Words cannot express my deep appreciation and gratitude for Tony’s support, interest, and fundraising suggestions. His belief in my dream gave me the determination and perseverance needed to make the Shoulders To Stand On Documentary a reality.
On Saturday, August 10, 2013, Tony died unexpectedly. Tony was a colorful and charismatic entrepreneur in New York City. He boldly celebrated being a gay man at a time when it wasn’t socially acceptable or safe. He provided a place for men, in and out of the closet, to socialize and find fulfillment in their identity. Most of all Tony lived his life openly with pride.
As a result of a recent bequest, Tony has left a very generous gift intended to support the Alliance for the next 10 years. Shoulders to Stand On is extremely grateful for Tony’s ongoing commitment to improve the day-to-day lives of LGBT people in Rochester and helping them live their lives as Tony lived his – openly, honestly and with pride.
I believe the song I Did It My Way, written by Jacques Revaux, Claude Francois, Gilles Thibaut and Paul Anka and made famous by Frank Sinatra, describes Tony’s life pretty accurately, and his hope for his LGBT brothers and sisters.
And now, the end is here
And so I face the final curtain
My friend, I’ll say it clear
I’ll state my case, of which I’m certain
I’ve lived a life that’s full
I traveled each and ev’ry highway
And more, much more than this, I did it my way
Regrets, I’ve had a few
But then again, too few to mention
I did what I had to do and saw it through without exemption
I planned each charted course, each careful step along the byway
And more, much more than this, I did it my way
Yes, there were times, I’m sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew
But through it all, when there was doubt
I ate it up and spit it out
I faced it all and I stood tall and did it my way
I’ve loved, I’ve laughed and cried
I’ve had my fill, my share of losing
And now, as tears subside, I find it all so amusing
To think I did all that
And may I say, not in a shy way,
“Oh, no, oh, no, not me, I did it my way”
For what is a man, what has he got?
If not himself, then he has naught
To say the things he truly feels and not the words of one who kneels
The record shows I took the blows and did it my way!
Yes, it was my way